I have Astral awareness now yet I have childhood memories that I believe relate to a type of early Astral experience. These early memories are from near age ten and always occurred at waking time. Like all humans my body continues to function and process waste as I sleep so that I must deal with the accumulation as I rise in the morning. It so happened that as a child I was aware of my need for fluid release before I awoke and the last segment of my nights dreams often were attempts to relieve my biologic pressures by getting up and going to the bathroom. I recall dozens of times when I "dreamed" that I got up, went to the bathroom and used the toilet. These dreams were so real to me that when I actually did wake up I was confused and could not understand why I still had need for the bathroom. Only now as I look back do I realize that the overwhelming sense of "realness" of those dreams were my first experiences with a form of control of consciousness in the Astral.

        My first controlled awareness of the Astral has many similarities to every other time spent there. A few simple words like "Oh! I'm back here" or "I'm here - out of dreaming" express the feeling and sensations as I gain control in the Astral. After the initial reaction I usually go on to observe my surroundings. My first dream awakening occurred to my conscious mind without an understanding of what to do so that the knowledge of being in the Astral would be retained in my waking world mind and not be lost like most dream memory. As I awoke in the morning after my first projection I was immediately overwhelmed by the warmth and goodness of Astral memory.

        My continued experiences in the Astral have brought on a deep and ever growing impact on my waking world existence. I see the next phase of existence for my mind and am increasingly becoming aware of how to live my waking life so as to prepare for the Astral life beginning. It is a great comfort in times of distress to remember what is to be. My first experiences in the Astral were explosive in their impact on my life as opposed to later impacts which were milder yet more profound.

        I have seen my body at rest on a bed several times. One early vision occurred in my Michigan home. I was trying to look towards the bed but could not focus clearly on my body because of an extremely intense feeling which filled my mind. The closer I got to my bed the greater the feeling became. I moved to about six feet from my body before I lost control of my consciousness and another forgotten dream segment began. The usual reaction since early encounters to my body has been one of lack of interest. I usually consider my physical body of inconsequential concern even if my consciousness is in the same room. I once sought my Astral image in a mirror yet I am usually interested in the Astral surroundings.

        Looking back on one time I spent in the Astral I wonder if the pervasive feeling of goodness and my attitude of experimental observation prevented me from focusing on a being I encountered. Just prior to this encounter I was studying Astral travels of others in my waking world readings and was looking forward to testing the laws of physics in the Astral. When I gained control of my consciousness I found myself outside of the laundry room at the dormitory I was staying in. To my right was a being which was basically human and seemingly feminine. Much of my energy was spent in maintaining my Astral awareness and most of the rest of my energies were directed towards the one experiment which I strongly desired to perform.

I was determined to see if I actually could pass through a solid door. I paused for a considerable time before I actually attempted to walk through the door and it was during the pause that I had communication with the being present. It was definitely not an auditory or worded exchange. The being was friendly, helpful and predominately girl-like. The "girl" knew I wanted to walk through the door. She gave me the impetus and confidence to perform the act. Yes indeed I walked right through the solid door. I was delighted and felt so assured of my ability that I turned around, approached the door and stuck my head back through to the other side.

The being was still there but the phenomena of having walked through a door was about all my mind could absorb without losing control. The fact that there was a being present did not seem very significant. I can speculate that there was a limit to the amount my consciousness could encompass before I lost control yet I can suspect that being who are entirely Astral in nature may be capable of restraining the early awareness of a physically bound Astral traveler.

        The only other time I experienced another intelligence was quite unusual. The being I encountered bore no resemblance to a human. In this projection I gained control in a rented apartment and very close to my sleeping body. My bed was about six feet from the door to the outside. As I gained control I was observing from a position nearly like sitting up on the side of the bed facing the door. What I saw was so unusual that it compelled my consciousness to focus on it. It was to my mind undoubtedly a creature. It was "sitting" just outside of my door and looked like a pile of white sheets. It was about three to four feet high and slightly pointed at the top. There was a slow but constant motion near the top that looked like sheets folding in and over on themselves. From the top of the being I perceived a sort of sensing apparatus and it was focusing on me. I was very interested in studying this creature and felt no fear. ( I have never experienced any negative emotions like fear, hate, greed, etc. while in the Astral.) It is difficult to describe just how I knew the being was observing me but a change seemed to occur as I focused on the being. The creature slowly became aware that "I" was looking at "it". I sensed a sort of surprise in the creature as if it couldn't believe I could be aware of its existence. This projection was a very short one for as soon as the "sheets" became convinced that I was aware of it I lost control and Astral memory stopped. Whether or not the "sheet creature" could cause me to lose control or whether control just slipped away is only speculation. This Astral time was very interesting but it is only feelings that are the basis for believing I actually encountered a being.

        I had a projection in Texas which was a unique blend of Astral control and hazy dream memory. I gained control near my bed and glanced at my body as I walked to the kitchen window. I was filled with happiness just standing a the window trying to hold on to control for as long as I could so that the memory and visions would be deep and lasting when I returned to my waking life. I felt urged to go through the window so I crawled and squeezed through the small window (even though there was glass in it !). I realized that I was losing control of my awareness just as I started to climb through the window. I retained enough control so that I could remember what happened next. The rest of that experience was on the order of dream consciousness rather than Astral control. As I walked around the apartment driveway I saw a store open for business which my Astral mind knew was a vacant building in the waking world. The dream grew as I walked into the store knowing that my degree of control was slowly slipping. I have never since had such slow deterioration of control of an experience. Usually Astral control fades rapidly yet in this case it was a very slow process and I have no explanation or theory as to why it happened like it did. There were two men in the store who were selling pictures. Only as I bought the pictures, walked out of the store and started back to my apartment did control and memory fade away. This unusual Astral time was not a clearly defined Astral projection from the point when I started out the window yet was a strange mixture of slow control loss plus surges in Astral awareness. The surges occurred as I approached the store and while inside. As I approached I felt the paradox of Astral understanding of a store which should have been a vacant building yet a resounding acceptance of the store's reality. Curiously, once inside the store a low level yet continuing feeling pervaded and compelled me to try to get the pictures back to my apartment. It seemed that the pictures might somehow impact the waking world by actually coming into existence or by another yet misunderstood means impact the waking world. This experience should not be considered a complete projection yet only a sort of amusing half controlled dream. The two men in the store were very human and similar to many humans in my dreams. I do not consider them to be other explorers in the Astral but only creations of the dream weaver in us all. In my Texas apartment as I glanced at my body my consciousness was in the same time period as my waking world but this it seems may not always be the case. Even though it is possible that the store may have existed prior to or after that "present" vacant building there is one experience which I believe occurred to my Astral mind in a past waking world time.

        In my probable time travel projection I became aware in a bedroom in my Grandmother's house in Michigan. As I glanced at the bed to see my body I became aware of a mirrored vanity and chair where nothing should have been. As I glanced back around the rest of the room's furniture had been changed. The bed was moved and it was empty. I believe I was observing a past time. The room I was in had at one time been the bedroom of a very old woman who would have had a room laid out in the manner I observed. I tried to walk through the solid door but could not. It was like running into soft clay. I wanted to examine the rest of the house to see how amazing it might have been but I could not get out. I resigned myself from trying and backed out of the impenetrable door so that I might examine the room closely. It never occurred to me to use the door knob! This experience was a very short one as were the majority of my projections. As I visually examined the room I began to feel my control fading. I approached a high shelf alone one wall. It looked like a mantel above a fireplace but there was only a wall underneath. I intensely examined the objects on the shelf. I examined two objects but could not understand what they were. I felt my control slipping as I saw a third object. It was a small bell with a handle for ringing. I took the bell and rang it rapidly but my control completely and memory ceased. I was amazed and delighted to hear the bell before I lost control. It was one of the few audible Astral sounds I have experienced. The bell sound was quite clean and pure but very much like bells I have in my waking life.

        Another interesting experience involved a room with furniture and objects. This was an early experience and somewhat unique due to the nature of my actions. I became aware in a room and observed the scene in a sweeping glance. It was a moderately large square room with a low flat ceiling. There were several items of furniture on the floor. In my waking life just prior to this projection I had been studying many writings concerning the Astral and had organized my thoughts into a scientific and highly patterned analytical approach. Quite fortunately the same attitude of scientific observation accompanied my Astral consciousness as I added this brief encounter to my vision of waking world memories. I directed my vision to the surface of a chair. I was determined to examine a surface at extremely close range to see if it was as complex as waking world matter. The type of chair covering was recognizable as similar to Naugahyde. There was never a blurring due to looking closer but just a lack of continuity which blended into geometric shapes, forms and colors. To try to see closer seemed pointless so I stood up from the chair and approached a wall with a half length mirror on it. I remember feeling strangely curious about seeing myself. I wondered what I would look like (As strange as that sounds). I did recognize my reflection and was pleased to see myself yet the face in the mirror could not seem to maintain any one expression for very long. I was not able to see my face in a precise and well defined manner. It was instead an easily recognizable self image constantly in expressive motion. I can not remember all the observations of this Astral view. It was a long projection which lasted about fifteen minutes and much of my observation was done in a mundane fashion. Actually many memories of specific sights and objects of this experience are vague yet the feeling of exhilaration of just being in the Astral makes even the most mundane actions seem very enjoyable and quite remarkable.

        Over the years I have had hundreds of sleep transition glimpses or fleeting grasps at control in the Astral. These "blink of an eye" experiences are very short indeed. Either a visual image forms and fades like a flash or an awareness of control begins to take hold and then slips quickly away. The specific images or feelings don't make much of a detailed impression memory but only generalities remain. Fragments of rooms or familiar happy feeling of being "Astral" are usually all that remains when my waking mind recalls them the next day. Sometimes the Astral glimpse is so joyfully energizing that I snap to full awake in the physical and for a brief time I "glow" in the memory of just having been in the nicest place I know.

4-25-82   Last night I had my first projection in about a year. As I gained control I found myself on an inclined surface of bricks, stone and rubble. I was almost forced to use my hands so as not to slip. I focused my vision on the bricks because I felt my control fading. I was telling myself that I was projecting again but most remarkably and for the first time I thought in precise wording "My body is sleeping back somewhere". I felt no connection whatsoever with my physical body but simple noted that I was not in it. The feeling was almost like being in the waking world and realizing that I had left my car in a parking lot somewhere. I have never had such specific thoughts about my physical body even though an nonverbal yet understood concept of the physical world and my basic relation to it usually coincided with most Astral times. This projection was very short indeed and lasted only about one minute. Upon waking the next morning the memory of the experience returned after about five minutes.

6-1-82   Falling asleep last night gave me a fading in and out Astral vision. The view was of rolling terrain and my sight was in motion along a path or roadway made of some substance where no plants grew (not pavement or asphalt and there were no lines). Most significant was body awareness. I was sensing my physical self and feeling not apart from it's position even though my vision was of a place nowhere near. I believe this was a rudimentary case of clairvoyance or as some call it "distant or remote viewing". It was very enjoyable to experience.

        I have just given two passages from the Astral experience notes I kept while writing this essay. I hope it will give insight into a method of how I attempt to increase my understanding and control of Astral projection.

        The more I Astral travel the greater the understanding I acquire of being in other places, planes of existence and states of time. As my experiences mount I find I am living in a waking world with a gradually increasing feeling of having traveled extensively and constantly. I also note a growing separation between my concept of reality and a large number of people around me. I enjoy a very encompassing view of life as I walk on this planet and ready myself for an earthly launching into the Astral.